the project has moved
Read the Essays from the Beginning
Two weeks pass at a fast slow clip.
I have a friend come into town. I work. I drink more than I have in a long time. I buy cat food twice. Boise is eating in sorrow.
The first couple nights he waited in the living room. Now he’s happiest when we’re both asleep. He is always hungry. He is always meowing. Sometimes, when he hears her voice on the computer, he runs away. I don’t want to look and see where he goes.
I talk to her a little. She says the usual things she should say to make me feel better. This works, for a while.
I go crazy if she doesn’t call again the next night.
Here is what I do: I wake up and turn on the heat so the shower will be warm. I go to work. I sit at a computer. I come home and sit at my computer. I think about when, or if, she will call. I try not to watch tv. I bring a book to the tv and watch tv. I brush the cat until he tries to bite me. I switch brushes. I give him a snack. If she doesn’t call, I lay in bed reading. If she does call, I am okay.
This probably makes it sound too sad. The drinking is fun. I spend money she’s preapproved. I remember my old life.
Missing her is probably a good thing.
I play basketball once. Kids play at the hoop beside me and in the playground nearby and I listen to the nonsense of their small circle of friends.